Tuesday, May 19, 2009

i always thought that liking someone this must was damn near impossible

but i guess not

i think about you more than anything in the world. 

just the things you say to me stick with me, and probably will for the rest of my life

i know i want to be with you.. 

as for you i cant see your thoughts. 

i know if you asked me i would scream inside my head 

and be delighted and would scream yes at the top of my lungs. 

i just never thought liking someone this much was possible. 

never in my closest dreams would i have imagined it. 

my heart races when i hear your name 

it has never done that before... 

you were like my defibrillator

making my heart beat.  

you amaze me.. im assured that its going to be 

almost to much to handle when we are side by side..

i just pray that you feel the same.. if not. 

just knowing you will have to work.

age doesn't matter to me.. 

i would hope it didn't you either but i understand if it does.

never would i have thought 

that thinking of you would keep me up at night... 

only because your better then my dreams.. 

thank you for letting my life be worth living :)

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I'm....

Not to sure what i want right at this moment.
i mean drama with friends and then she hates me for telling the truth.
expects people to not call her a hoe when she dose things that would pertain to that name.
im not saying ive never done anything bad in my life because boy have i.
but god idk im not saying shes bad ither. i love her to death even when i was
typing that long message on myspace i was just hoping she would get what i was saying.
but she didnt and idk if i should feel ok with that or just awell ill find a new friend.
i need her i think.
idk maybe its just i dont feel like i fit in when im with her...
i feel like the ugly duckling in a crowd of beautiful swans...
i just want things between me and her to be back to normal.. thats all

Monday, December 29, 2008

Free At Last Honey

She is laying next to the man who takes it all.
All she wants is him to love her.
Instead he is ready to dominate again.
She is laying there letting him take full advantage of her.
In pain, but she can't do anything about it, he is the only thing she has.
Silently she cries as he's on top of her, she can barley breath.
Screaming silently "Stop please, please stop."
But it is useless, he is not going to stop till he is finished.
One last thrust, one last moan, and he is done.
He lights a cigarette, and sighs a vary pleased sigh.
She sobs.
She wants out.
He slaps her face "Shut up girl."
He yells.
She places her hand on the red mark on her face not surprised at all.
"Now go on I'm done with you for now, go make me some supper, you whore."
This is the day, "I've had enough" she thinks to her self.
She gets dressed slowly, she is so sore.
She closes the bedroom door behind her.
Makes her way to the kitchen, supper is not on her mind.
She slowly opens up the rickety screen door.
Stepped out on the old squeaky wooden porch.
She hears his foot steps in the house.
Panicking she runs, runs as fast as her sore body will let her.
Running throw the pain she can hear him yelling.
She knows he won't catch her.
She starts to slow her pace, she can't go any more.
Falls to the ground, she is so tired.
She opens her eyes and finds that she is in a meadow.
It's the most beautiful place she has ever seen.
She looks behind her, she is much to far away to be found.
She smiles at the sky and feels tears stream down her face.
She stands up and dusts her self off.
She starts walks in to the trees.
Finds a road.
Finds a town.
This old black woman takes her in.
She tells this woman her horrific story.
The woman is crying.
Takes hold of the girl and says in praise "Free at last honey, free at last."
The girl and the woman go to the police station and turn this wretched man in.
When the man arrives in the police car.
She starts to shake, she is terrified of what might happen.
The woman looks at her and says "Honey the Lord has more to offer than him, for the devil had you in a trap and you are one of the few that could escape."
The court date is in the girl testifies.
The man is sentenced to life in prison.
She is relieved.
She hugs the old woman.
They both rejoice "Free at last, free at last."

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Broken Yet Still Whole.

Her heart, shattered, crushed, demolished by his devilish ways.
"How could he, why me God why me"!? She scream and pain and agony.
He had always told her, "I love you baby, I will be here for you forever and always."
What had happened? She pondered in the pouring rain.
Thinking what she could have possibly done to deserve such torture.
As she was thinking she imagined him with that sell out of a girl.
What trash she was.
"I did everything to make him happy, even the things I wasn't willing to part with." She said aloud to her self.
All of a sudden she felt different.
She felt as if her heart... had magically healed.?
"How could this be"?! she screamed in amazement.
At this vary point in time she heard a voice say "Because my child, I did not chose him for you."
For it was her Maker.
She was speechless, he was every thing she thought he would be plus some!
By this time She was crying again, but for a different reason.
"Why are you crying child"?
He did not have to ask, he already knew.
"I have mended your heart dear."
In an instant he was gone..
She was confused, but relieved.
She was positive this was not a dream.
Her heart was broken yet still whole.
She was relieved, yet still dejected.
But for her romeo still awaits her.
Love is tender.
Love is a pain.
Love pleasant, when you find the one with your name tattooed on his heart.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Drama, the good kind. :]

I'm pretty random. So basically I'm just going to blog about the things on my mind. The skinny is, Youth Drama. I am so excited like I have been wanting this for a while, just never had the chance to input. And finally someone who cares about drama is in charge of it! I mean yea I have not tried out for the local school plays but those usually don't appeal to me. There is just something about youth, church, drama that I adore. I'm not to sure why that is either. Wow drama. Just something about acting that gets me hyped. Something about being something your not makes my adrenaline rush. My life its good but who wants to be yourself all the dang time. Can you say boring? Thought so. The play is going to be a modern twist on the birth of Jesus! That is freakin' SHWEET! I know this is going to be a huge thing. I can feel it in my bones. This is also going to be a great look in for the adults to see what us high school kids go thru ever day! The way people treat you if your different. It's going to be hecka incredible! More updates lata! Ciao.